Personal View: Am I alone in not understanding the appeal of Ed Sheeran?
I think I need help.
With this single column I fear I could be shunned by everyone I meet and/or, after recent events, locked away in the Tower of London.
Millions, sorry, billions of people worldwide hold this person in extremely high esteem. Their every word, or even move, makes global headline news, and they are lauded at every turn.
Last weekend the whole country came together to revere, even worship this idol, and even a fleeting glimpse on The Mall in London, was enough to send an excited and emotional crowd into delirium.
No, I am not talking about her Majesty The Queen.
She's a lovely lady - and the celebrations I thought went particularly well - and not as gaudy as I had imagined.
I was expecting something more akin to a Donald Trump rally - though I was a little surprised to see money-saving expert Martin Lewis on one of the celebrity buses in the Sunday parade celebrating 70 years of British history.
Anyone know why?
No, I am talking about that global musical hero, 'in the shape of' Ed Sheeran, who topped the bill for the closing celebrations, with his song, Perfect.
Am I alone in not understanding the appeal of Ed Sheeran (apart from being from Suffolk, of course).
Universally popular, but to my ears, bears a striking resemblance to many a high street busker you might see or hear at the back of Boots in Bury St Edmunds.
Ah, there's the rub, I hear you cry!
But, whereas some of those can lift your soul or even move you to tears, especially on a Monday, Mr Sheeran on the other hand, (deep breath) leaves me as cold as a block of concrete.
More to the point: nonplussed and second-guessing myself, on what actually it is I am missing.
I’ve concentrated hard when he has appeared on TV, and this week, in the name of research, even listened to ‘This is Ed Sheeran’ on Spotify in the car.
All that stood out for me was the perhaps deliberate, perhaps ironic, but definitely faux ‘bad boy’ lyrics, which were quite amusing for someone so 'wholesome'.
Other than that, an 'averagely' strummed guitar and loop machine, with no discernible musical hooks or memorable melodies.
I did a little research it appears he does seem to fall into the Marmite category of appeal.
You either love him or hate him.
I asked in the office and the debate went on for sometime.
My problem however, regarding someone so ubiquitous - and with the biggest wikipedia page I have ever seen - is I have no opinion at all - about someone fast becoming, ahem, a 'national treasure.'
I can’t call to mind one song other than something about being in love with ‘someone’s body’, and who the next morning, made his bedsheets smell.
I've probably heard 100 songs on the radio, in the supermarket, on TV, and don't recognise a single one.
And that lack of resonance haunts me.
I'd probably have more success recognising Peter Andre.