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Peppa Pig? Why Boris Johnson should visit Bury St Edmunds



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Shuffle.

...

Silence.

Shuffle.

Ahem.

...

Blast it

...

Excuse me.

...

Shuffle

..

Forgive me

Tap

...

Forgive me

...

Silence.

Ahem

..

Peppa Pig!

Peppa Pig World!

That’s the chap.

I mean her!

That’s why I am here today!

I completely forgot what I was going to write about in this week’s column for a whole 20 seconds there, so let’s talk about Peppa Pig!

Boris Johnson’s address to the Confederation of British Industry (CBI): Picture by Owen Humphreys/PA
Boris Johnson’s address to the Confederation of British Industry (CBI): Picture by Owen Humphreys/PA

Peppa, an outgoing pre-school pig, participates in many energetic activities. She learns something new every day and has a lot of fun with her family and friends.

Now let’s make noises like a car: Broom broom brah brah! There it goes. WHOOSH! An electric car!

I can’t help feeling sorry for Boris Johnson and his Peppa Pig moment. He was due to deliver a speech to the CBI to calm any possible nerves about his leadership over high-speed rail, care and possibly sleaze.

And then it all went wrong.

Offering a little humanity for a second, I guess he does have a lot on his mind.

Or it might just have been a momentary lapse or even stage fright.

A bit like going on the X-Factor and right in the middle of the song, completely forgetting the words to I Will Always Love You, even though you’ve heard it 300 times. (He might also have been unprepared, however).

Andrew Swiney at his new mobile mediation unit. Picture by Mecha Morton
Andrew Swiney at his new mobile mediation unit. Picture by Mecha Morton

Well I think Boris should come to Bury St Edmunds and sample two new services that started up this week.

1. Andrew Swiney started a mobile meditation unit, called Mynd, which he will take to workplaces, schools, universities and festivals.

It gives stressed-out workers, students, and possibly prime ministers, a chance to take time out for some mindfulness meditation. As Andrew says: a chance to 'de-stress, refocus and reset'.

And hopefully forget about Peppa Pig. Or actually to stop thinking about world problems and focus on Peppa Pig.

2. Alison Turner and Chris Pask have launched Primal 8 health and wellbeing cafe in Risbygate Street, which not only offers a range of healthy snacks and drinks, but products to boost your wellbeing and focus, on a daily basis.

Alison Turner and Chris Pask in the Zen Den at Primal 8 cafe. Picture by Mecha Morton
Alison Turner and Chris Pask in the Zen Den at Primal 8 cafe. Picture by Mecha Morton

They also have a Zen Den for quiet relaxation where you can presumably sit and make car noises, if it makes you feel better, possibly.

I love both of these additions to the town and have already visited the latter which proved a great uplifting lunchtime experience.

In today's modern world with the constant deluge of emails, text messages, phone calls, Twitter and Facebook notifications, multi-layered software and teamchat notices, I sometimes feel, after leaving work, I've been playing Sonic The Hedgehog for eight hours non-stop.

(I'm on Level 27 by the way)

Tory attempts however to defend the reference to Peppa Pig as promoting British creativity rather back fired though, when it emerged Peppa Pig’s parent company, Entertainment One, was bought by US giant Hasbro – which owns My Little Pony and Play-Doh – in the summer of 2019, during the height of Brexit uncertainty.

Broom Broom Brah Brah!