Suffolk transgender activists share their stories in the fight for equality

We are all 'deliciously complex' says Petra, a transgender woman who lives in the Ipswich area.

The 75-year-old, who has been living openly as a woman since 2018, has continually voiced her opinion in the fight for trans equality.

She has cut through the chatter to speak of her own journey and bring the human stories of transgender people to the fore. As a member of the Women's Institute, she regularly gives talks to groups and has even appeared on the cover of the organisation's membership magazine.

But the road to living her true self wasn’t an easy one. Born in 1946 as Peter, Petra knew even before she started school in 1951 that she 'wasn't the same as other boys’.

"In infant class that didn't really matter as I was only five or six," she said. "But as I moved through the years, the girls would start applying gender norms which were coming down from adults, thus I was pushed out.

"But I never clicked with boys, so I became a bit of a loner. I was bullied and I was beaten up.

"I think my mum realised that something wasn't quite right, so when it came to secondary school time, instead of going with the rest of my class to the co-education secondary school in the next town, I was sent a few towns away to an all-boys secondary school.

"It didn't work," she added.

Petra studied an electrical engineering degree and later got a job in London, where she met wife, Lorraine, who she describes as her 'soul mate' and they have recently celebrated their 49th anniversary.

After a period spent in hospital in 2015, where she read a blog written by a trans woman, Petra told Lorraine that she was transgender, and in the years following, she visited support groups, her GP, and gender clinics to start hormone treatment.

Petra continues to give talks to various organisations and says that for real progress to be made, people need to help champion the rights of trans individuals.

"The key thing is allyship and that being built up by the general public," she said. "It's got to come up from the grassroots."

Petra added that more visibility needs to be given to transgender men, who are, at times, not represented in the media.

One person who echoes this sentiment, is trans man Darragh Briscomb, co-chair of Suffolk Pride, who says trans men are often 'forgotten.'

He explained that new guidance from the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) says that under the Equality Act organisations, in some circumstances, can ‘limit or modify’ trans people’s access to single-sex spaces, something he says usually targets trans women.

"I’m quite lucky because I’m a trans man so it’s never really against me. In a sense we are kind of forgotten - they don’t see us as a threat, but the things they want to put in law still negatively affect us.

"The biggest concern that I have currently is feeling like the rights are slowly being eroded."

Darragh, 21, grew up on the outskirts of London and has since moved to Ipswich to study mobile and web development at the University of Suffolk where he is now in his final year. He came out at 13 after knowing for a while that 'things didn’t add up.'

"I always assumed that it was because of my autism, but it never quite fit," he said. "There was still a puzzle piece missing."

At age 10, Darragh did some research and thought that maybe he could be trans, but decided to wait until he was a little older to make any decisions.

After a trans man visited his secondary school, Darragh realised that maybe it was possible to start the process, and so he emailed his headteacher and told his mum.

"I was really lucky because my mum has always been surrounded by quite liberal people. She didn’t expect it, but it made sense to her.

"The support of people around me has made such a difference," he added.

From there Darragh was referred to the appropriate service and he said it felt like he had to 'come out over a hundred times.'

Darragh only went on medication at 15 and a half after a long process of being on hormone blockers - a step that all young people under 18 who want to transition have to do before they can take hormone replacement therapy. Then at 18 he was finally prescribed testosterone.

"The toughest bit is there’s this expectation that you have to have done everything else before you can explore that option.

"It is a long and complex process. Even as an adult you’re not trusted to make your own decision. You have to have meetings with people who then decide if you’re ready and that’s quite frustrating."

Now Darragh is seen at an adult clinic, but has gone as far as he wants to go in terms of transitioning options.

In April 2021 he became more involved with Suffolk Pride, taking over tech duties and later became co-chair of the organisation.

Going forward Darragh, much like Petra, says that visibility and allyship is important.

He said: "As scary as it is, visibility is key - we need to say 'we are here'.

"Allies can help to continue to educate people because it can be really exhausting to be a trans person and your entire existence is educating other people about what to say."

Suffolk Pride will be taking place this year on June 18 at Ipswich Waterfront from 12pm onwards.