Former Suffolk and Essex county cricketer, karate instructor, and life coach Phil Toogood's pathway to getting a black belt in life
Learning karate might not seem an obvious step on the road to becoming a life coach . . . but for Phil Toogood they are a perfect fit.
Black belt Phil has drawn on his journey from novice to expert to help people understand themselves and live their best possible lives.
The tough and often painful path to success in the centuries-old martial art opened his eyes and his mind.
Lining up in the dojo – a place where karate is practised – for the first time he could clearly see his goal, and the steps to get there. It became his metaphor for life.
Now the ex-Suffolk and Essex county cricketer has shared his knowledge in a book, You Can Live a Black Belt Life.
He describes the short walk to meet the man who convinced him he could succeed in karate despite the damage inflicted on his body by years of high-level sport, as ‘20 feet that changed my life’.
And he also reveals his own struggle with feelings bordering on depression which he says astounded people who saw him as a super-confident high achiever, and which he even kept from his family.
“I was working for myself at the time, and having challenges at work. I went through a period where it really affected my mental health. I never sought help, even my wife Donna didn’t know.
“On the outside looking in I had a lovely family, kept myself fit, I was always in the papers, hitting the headlines on the sports pages.
“One day I walked out of the house, into my own gym, and I just felt so sad. When the fog comes down it’s difficult to see life in a positive way.
“You start to feel the whole world is against you, you go down the self pity pathway. I kept it away from everybody because I looked on myself as a failure.
“One of the things that really helped me grow was my discovery of personal development . . . when you work hard to become a better father, mother, brother, sister, the impact on the other people in your life is huge.
“That was a massive shift for me. I started to reflect and use my own journey and once I started to deconstruct and unpack it I knew I could help other people.
“Then I added in my journey in martial arts. That was my light bulb moment,” said Phil, who has been married to Donna for 34 years and lives in Lavenham.
He discovered karate in his early 40s after meeting Sensei (teacher) Peter, who ran sessions at Stoke by Nayland resort where he had gone to use the gym.
“I was always in awe of martial artists. I’ve met several and all just seemed to have something special about them – a presence.
“But the last thing on my mind was to take up karate. I was a fast bowler and high order batsman. My body was broken, I had bad hips, and hamstrings.
“Peter said give me 12 months with you and I will get you doing things you can only dream of, and that was the inspiration that drove me to turn up a few days later for my first session of karate.
“I was so far outside my comfort zone. I was stripped bare of ego. I stood there in track uit bottoms and a T-shirt and had no idea what to do.
“In the dojo you line up according to your status and your grade . . . to my left was the wall, which was where you’re starting from. I was bottom of the pile and there was only one way to go.
“So why did I keep going back? I wanted to go down the line and become a black belt.
“I suffered from fear of the unknown, of rejection, of humiliation. It was that journey as a metaphor for life that kept me going back week in, week out.
“The karate journey is the most beautiful and clear goal-setting journey you can have because you can see where you are going.
“So although you are only moving 30ft it takes years to get there. But that journey is transformational.”
He kept going despite snapped hamstrings and ligaments, cracked ribs and a broken eye socket.
“It took me six years to get to black belt level. I had one period when I walked away from it. Getting the grading level before black, I was slipping and sliding in my own blood from blisters on my feet.
“I felt I’m in my 40s, do I really need to be doing this. I’m a person who never gives up but I did that night, for about six months.
“Then one day, Sensei Peter was talking to another instructor saying ‘I think we’ve lost Phil’ and as he said it, I walked back through the door.
“From then on I went on to get my black belt and 10 years ago became an instructor myself.”
Phil was born and bred in Sudbury. “Throughout my life I’ve been obsessed with sport and competition. I used to spend hours and hours with my friends playing cricket.
“We’d do it down a pathway on an estate, and with windows right and left we had to hit the ball straight. That’s where I developed my game.
“My childhood was magnificent. I spent it outside, the only restriction mum and dad gave me was to be back before it was dark.
“My parents gave me values like respect and courtesy. Someone asked me how long I’ve been coaching and I said all my life, because I’ve always loved to see other people grow and develop, and if I’d been a part of it in any way I got a lot from that.”
His first job was as an electronics engineer but aspiring to swapping overalls for a suit and tie and driving a company car, he moved into sales aged 21.
He also spent time as a small business owner in the counter-terrorism industry. “It was during the time of the Afghan and Iraq wars, but was all life-saving equipment not weapons,” he said.
As a cricketer he played for Sudbury, then moved to Halstead where he has just stepped down as director of cricket to be an ambassador for the club. He also played for both Essex and Suffolk at county level.
In 1985 and 1989 he did the double of scoring 1,000 runs and taking 100 wickets in a season for Halstead.
“I was a very successful captain at cricket – I loved seeing other people perform, to nurture and guide. And I’ve always been a good listener and interested in other people.
“When you put those together they are key to becoming a successful coach.”
People have different labels for various kinds of coaching. Phil says it’s all life coaching because it deals with a human being.
“Whatever aspect – career, relationships – the aim is to help that person find the tools to help them through a challenge or struggle.
“You have to shine the torch inwards first before you shine it outwards – having that honesty in terms of what your strengths and weaknesses are.
“When you look at life in a different way, then things you look at change.”
He studied positive psychology with the Neuroleadership Institute, and continued to study neuroscience to understand the workings of the brain.
“I work hugely on self awareness. If you can understand what makes you tick and why you respond in a certain way to certain situations it’s a game changer.
He has been coaching professionally for about five years. “For me the most important definition of success is happiness and fulfilment.
“I think the best way to learn is to reflect. I’m a student of mindfulness as well.
“Mindfulness encourages you to spend time in the moment, but the clearer your goals the easier it is to spend more time in the present . . . learn and reflect but don’t judge yourself.
“I believe everyone can live a black belt life. You can develop your inner self and understand and regulate yourself in a different way, and give yourself more clarity in terms of your life decisions.
“You can be a black belt teacher, plumber, butcher, whatever. It’s wearing the black belt on the inside.
“Everyone has treasures within them in terms of confidence and self belief, and I hope this book gives the key to unlock some of that,” said Phil who is not the only black belt in his family.
Daughter Ellie, 25, got hers in her early teens. What’s more, she also plays cricket for Colchester.
The book took three years to write. “A good friend and fellow coach said you should write a book, because you have a story to tell.
“On the train coming back I had this euphoric feeling going through my veins, thinking I’m going to do it.
“When I gave up sport I thought I would never get that adrenaline you get when you take a brilliant catch, or score 100, but I got that rush from being an author.
“My job creates that as well. When I see people have transformational epiphanies it gives me the same feeling as getting 100 on the cricket field.”
Phil’s book is available on Amazon. For more information go to his website philtoogood.com
A goal is best for 2023, says life coach Phil
For many of us, this is the time of the year when we start to think about making a change to our lives by setting new year’s resolutions.
So why is that 80 per cent of resolutions fail? Why can’t we follow them through?
There is a saying that most of us have heard at some time or other: “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail,” and this can be applied most definitely to new year’s resolutions as to why most fail miserably.
Let’s now translate new year’s resolution into using the word ‘goal’. A goal must be stretching but achievable, it needs to be measurable and above all it needs to be seriously inspirational.
It needs to be so powerful and impactful that it pulls you towards it. In my book, You Can Live a Black Belt Life, I reveal my own unique system for goal setting and getting. By applying a certain mindset and using the models I uncover you are very likely to achieve success.
Here are some tips for your 2023 goals.
Clarity is key. Make sure the goal is thought out thoroughly, like a project. Get to a point whereby it excites and inspires you every time you think of it.
Plot the goal journey. Any goal needs to be measurable, therefore you need to formulate a timeline with milestones. Go as deep into the detail as you can. This provides you with the process of small steps, small wins that can deliver life changing results.
Write down your goal. Research shows this increases its power.
Mindset. Never think of what you are giving up, train your brain to think about what you are gaining. Believe me this works.
This quote by Zig Ziglar sums up the need for goals. “If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.”
