Shotley couple, who met in Bury St Edmunds, become first same-sex couple to marry at St John’s Methodist Church in Sudbury
“We just found love and went with it.”
On October 5, Nicola and Katie Spencer-Moore, aged 37 and 62, became the first same-sex couple to marry at St John’s Methodist Church, in Sudbury.
Surrounded by a congregation of 66 family and friends, it was the celebration of a union which is laced with courage, strength and the value of being true to yourself.
They have shared their story to inspire others and show that love can overcome any obstacle.
“It took a lot for us to get together - we pushed it away for many years,” said Nicola.
“We were so scared of what people would think of us.”
The pair were close friends for 20 years and met after Nicola volunteered at a day centre at Beeton’s Lodge, in Bury St Edmunds, where Katie was the manager.
They were both in relationships at the time but struck up a friendship.
When the centre shut, they both worked at another day centre, Oasis run by Age UK on the Moreton Hall estate in Bury.
“Our friendship just grew and grew and we knew there was something special,” said Nicola.
“There was always something there and we did chat about it together but we were always very frightened back then because I was in my early 20s.
“With the age gap we were frightened to ever try and give it a go and see what it was.”
On November 22, 2019 though, they found the courage, got together and decided to face the world.
“We have had not nice comments through our relationship from the outside public and we stopped ourselves for the first three years holding hands in public and showing any affection towards each other,” said Nicola.
“We went to supermarkets and the comments were ‘help your mum, you’re not helping your mum, pack her bag’.
“It was hard when we were trying to face the world as a couple.
“But we still kept going with our relationship.”
Katie has two sons, aged 39 and 31, and Nicola’s mum is 60 so there were worries about what their families would think.
“We were scared they wouldn’t be okay,” said Nicola. “My mum is close in age to Katie. We didn’t expect the response though - everyone was fine with it and we wish we had not been so scared 15 years ago.”
Nicola’s nanny, who is 90 in January, has fully accepted them as a couple and enjoys their company when they visit her.
Her dad died when she was 21 and Nicola said having his mum accept them ‘fully, warms my heart so much’.
Before Katie’s sister Rebecca, of Bromley, died aged 59 in October 2020, her last wish to Nicola was to look after her sister.
When it was clear Rebecca hadn’t long left, Nicola proposed at a B&B in Bromley so Rebecca knew her sister would always be cared for.
They lived in Sudbury for three years having previously both been based in the Bury St Edmunds area.
With a love for Sudbury, the pair, now of Shotley, were thrilled when they discovered they could have their ceremony at St John’s Methodist Church, which gained permission this year to perform same-sex marriages.
Nicola’s brother and stepdad walked her down the aisle and she said she felt lucky to have her mum there as she has been battling cancer for two and a half years.
“Our wedding day was just absolutely beautiful, we had so many comments from people saying they have never seen two people more in love,” said Nicola.
“The room felt full of love.
“We think it's important to share about us, as like we said it took a lot of strength for us to make the leap.
“And here we are with our family and friends loving us and we finally got married in a church. We couldn't be more happy.
“It might inspire people out there to take the leap.”
For Nicola, now they are married, she said she looks forward to the next time someone asks ‘is this your mum?’ so she can respond ‘NO she is my wife’.
Neither of them like labels and their abiding aim was to be true to themselves.
Hoping others will take courage from their story, Katie recites a Nelson Mandela quote.
“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
